Release, Organize & Heal
I speak about emotional setbacks often on my
podcast and in other blog articles. One in particular that we do not
acknowledge as an emotional setback is a breakup. Changing our hair, dressing
sexier, and going out with the girls is not what you do to process this
situation. Those actions say you think it was about your appearance, not the traumas
of the other persons. Well, I have
experienced several that ended with the same narrative. It wasn’t until I
analyzed the situation more profound, I learned that what I was attracting I
saw during childhood, lack of self-worth, and the thought I wired in after
every failed relationship, “I am not good enough.” I knew some genetic healing
had to take place. But this blog is not about that. This blog is about
decluttering after a failed relationship that will promote healing
organizationally. Failed relationships are setbacks that we can overcome;
I am proof. I always began with organization when I experienced this. In my
expert opinion, I recommend this whenever anyone experiences such type of
setback. I encourage creating a space
different from the one you made memories with the person.
Step One
In the first stages of processing the pain of
such a disappointment, I would clean and rearrange the furniture. Decluttering
of some sort is a significant first step. There are three areas to address:
mental, physical, and emotional. Since this is an organization piece, my first
step would be to remove anything the person purchased for me. It is imperative to
get those attachments out of the way. Attachments are an excuse individuals use
to keep things during the decluttering process in general. If there is a painful
attachment, why keep it? You may not want to throw away something so valuable, so
donate it to a thrift store. Or maybe you know someone who can benefit from
having it. The object is to get it out of your possession so that you can heal
and get over the person. Attachments
keep wounds open. Attachments are energy; heck, everything is. If you want to release,
you must let go, or their power will remain. You do not wish to reminders that
can cause regression. Open wounds can get infected, and that infection can
spread. Everything you attempt to do, touch, think, and desire has the
potential to carry traces of poorly processed failed relationship traumatic
infection. Did you know reliving those experiences over and over alters your
brain structure and will become automatic responses? That’s why when someone
breaks your heart ten years later, it feels the same way as ten years earlier.
Step Two
So, let’s grab those boxes and start clearing
out your space. Everything that the person purchased: books, purses, jewelry,
cards, clothing, shoes, candles, EVERYTHING! Change the bedding if there were
sexual encounters. Toss the pillows, the sheets, the comforter and buy new
ones. If you understand the benefits of sage, cleanse the area with it. If this
frightens you and you think it is demonic, then do what is comfortable for you.
When we cut covenants, there has to be some effort to clean the person’s energy.
Failure to do so results in constant dreams about the individual. I can go a
step further, drink herbal teas that detoxify the blood. A man’s semen goes
into your bloodstream if an egg doesn’t fertilize, so you are carrying him
around because he has altered you on a genetic level. Yes, it’s that deep.
Write 2 Heal
Reminders will pop up. There was a song my ex sent me, and every time I heard
it, I skipped it until I could listen to it without going back to that
place. The healing process is an intentional act, being mindful and
continuous work. Many do not adequately heal because they do not want to do what’s
required. The more you flex that muscle, the more you will drop it all to make
sure you are WHOLE. Emotional declutter helps improve emotional wellbeing and
mental health. As the emotions surface, journal what you are feeling and your
thoughts as you feel them. This exercise will make you more aware of how and
why you think what you think while freeing yourself of it #healthruwriting.
Releasing that trapped energy benefits your mental and physical health as well.
The person with unprocessed bitterness probably has heart-related medical problems.
Step Three
Clear out the phone! Delete the phone number and block it if that’s what you
need to do to heal; delete the text thread and delete all pictures of the person
or images of things you two took together. When you delete the number, there
won’t be the temptation to call. Most of us do not remember phone numbers, so
that is a plus. Blocking the number prevents reentry from the other person’s
standpoint. You may not call, but they may try to contact you at some point.
Imagine being so far in your process, then hearing that voice throws you off
track. You were not ready, so avoid it and block them. The moment that
text thread disappears, you know you are on your way. I was one to go back and
reread a text. OMG, I promise it does not help. I was a victim of a compulsive
liar; as I reread those words, it angered me. I questioned the validity of all
of it, causing me to grow even angrier. Going through the thread also brought
more to the surface because I began to see the communication gaps I had not
noticed before. It proved that the person was seeing someone else, but that new
information did not benefit me at that moment. So, delete, delete, delete. Rid
yourself of the pictures on the coffee table, and the same applies to those in
that camera roll. The reminiscing is detrimental.
Recovery
Expect to hit emotional lows, so make sure you have a counselor or a coach
during these times of interruptions. You want to maintain a high vibrational
frequency because what you put off emotionally is what you attract. Healing in
every facet is essential. Organization brings a fraction of healing while
seeking help will drive it home. Prayer and meditation help also. As you
declutter, it may cause you to cry, do not hold back the tears. Let the tears
flow; they are a language our Creator knows how to decode, stop and take breaks
if it gets overwhelming but let it all go. Before getting back out there, work
on yourself and heal those wounds. Learn from the last relationship and apply
what you learn in the future.
Lastly, if you are friends on any social media
platform, unfriend, unfollow, block, or delete. Take these steps to sustain yourself.
Seeing them will not help; seeing them with the other person definitely won’t,
as the humiliation will brew knowing the entire time they were with someone
else. That feeling of “everyone knew but me” will arrest you, and you do not
want to get trapped there. So, clean up and clear out.
10 Minutes Per Day Keeps
The Clutter Away
Organization is not
limited to a living or workspace. Any area of your life that is out of order requires
a level of organization. Check out my eBook Emotional Setbacks by clicking the
link below.
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